So exactly 2 years ago today I was doing inventory at Bass Pro. Without a doubt, one of the most stressful days of my entire year. I was extremely sleep deprived, running around like a mad man and exactly one week away from getting married. WHEW!
Next week you get my sappy I love my husband anniversary speech, today you get an apology. I realize thinking about times like that how much my job controlled my life and how much I missed while working there. All the birthdays, holidays and important events I had to blow off, most last minute b/c of something going wrong at the store.
There are a few moments specifically I don't think I'll ever really forgive myself for, one being my bridal portraits and how disappointed I made my mom. She had it planned months in advance, I took the day off a month in advance and a corporate visit still ended up happening the day I was suposed to get them done.. and not just a visit.. a visit specifically for my departments. So basically... I had planned 2 days with my mom, go home the night before, wake up and do portraits, eat lunch and hang out with my family then back later that evening... and what did I do? I worked until 11, drove and got home at 1:30am. Woke up and rushed my pictures then drove back to bass pro. Imagine me with my hair and makeup done, tiara still in with a t-shirt and jeans on moving my department.. that was me. Pathetic
Next would be my birthday. My best friend was also home on R&R from Iraq. I hadn't been able to get home any time before to see him (he was only home for 14 days) so we planned that day for us. The day before he went back... and of course.. another corporate visit. So again.. I worked until 10:30, drove and got home at 1. Woke up at 4 and went to take him to the airport at 5. I got to spend maybe 3 hours with him... in the car and the airport. with his family and everyone.. no one on one time. No talk time.. nothing really quality. How horrible of a friend am I? I mean really.. you should work to live right, not live to work? I had it totally backwards then and it's really sickening to think about.
Those are just the worst... I missed birthdays, parties.. you name it, I usually didn't go. I'm sorry to everyone who I let work take priority over. It was not the right thing to do and although I can't take it back I wish I could.
I feel like I'm doing this again... except it's not work, it's gas and distance. I've missed a Christening.. I'm going to miss another in 2 weeks... not to mention "wiggly" was born in freakin' JUNE and I still haven't seen him. Sigh.. life blows sometimes! I've searched a million times for how to fix this problem... and no resolution so far. I'm sorry to everyone that I'm still missing out on important events. Know my heart is there and I really want to be.
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